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Domestic abuse is defined in law as -

A pattern of behaviour characterised by the exercise of control by one person over another within the context of an intimate or family-type relationship.

This abuse can be;

Physical

Sexual

Emotional

Financial

Or Neglect

Forced marriage and so-called honour crimes are also types of domestic abuse. People who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender experience domestic abuse but the statistics are sparse -

“Research shows at least 1 in 4 LGBT people have experienced or are experiencing some form of domestic violence”.

www.broken-rainbow.org.uk

If you are in immediate danger call 999

Abusers often manipulate victims to make them think they are to blame or say that “it is normal in a gay relationship”

Nobody has to tolerate any behaviour that is not acceptable to them.

Getting Help

If you live in Derby City you may be able to get support from the Family Justice Centre.

They are a safe, secure and confidential service for victims to seek protection and support for issues of domestic abuse, sexual violence, honour based violence, forced marriage, stalking and harassment.

Specially trained staff from statuatory and voluntary agencies such as the police, Community Safety Partnership, Derby City Council, Refuge and Hadhari Nari are available to provide appropriate support in protecting people and their families from further violence and abuse.

The Family Justice Centre is open to any person who is seeking help on any of these issues. The Centre is located in Derby and can be contacted in a number of ways -

• Telephone 01332 256897 Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
• Email familyjusticecentre@derby.gov.uk
• By dropping in at the Family Justice Centre , 2^nd Floor, St Peters House, Gower Street, Derby, DE1 1SB between 10am-4pm Monday to Friday
• By contacting the chair of the steering group Chief Inspector Sunita Gamblin 760306

You can also contact the following organisations for support around Domestic Abuse:

• Broken Rainbow – 0300 999 5428 – Monday 2:00-8:00pm, Wednesday 10:00am-5:00pm, Thursday 2:00-8:00pm
• Men’s Advice Line – 0800 801 0327 – Monday to Friday – 10:00am-1:00pm & 2:00pm-5:00pm
• Derbyshire SAM – Support & Advice for Men – 08000 198 668 – www.derbyshiresam.org.uk
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 (24 hours) – www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk
• Victim Supportline – 0845 30 30 900 – www.victimsupport.org/Help-for-victims

• Issues around Isolation and Protecting the LGBT ‘Community’ Image. The isolation that a victim of domestic abuse feels can be compounded by being LGB or T. LGB and T people can be reluctant to seek help from the police for fear of homophobic or transphobic treatment. In addition they may be unable to turn to family or friends for support if they are not out about their sexuality.
• The abuser may threaten to “out” the person to friends, family, co-workers, religious groups etc.
• The abuser may have a central role within a close-knit LGB+T community and the victim may not be able to disclose and seek help without the information getting back to the abuser.
• A victim may even be conceded about giving LGB&T relationships a bad name and may refuse to speak out about the abuse they are suffering.

Being Prepared

Leaving a violent relationship can be emotionally difficult and physically dangerous. It is important to get help and make a plan in the safest way possible.

If you are currently living with an abusive relationship it is a good idea to be prepared in case you have to leave quickly.

Here are some suggestions from Derbyshire Constabulary -

• Establish the nearest place you can go to and be safe to contact the police. For example friends, neighbours.
• Always carry a list of emergency phone numbers and keep your benefit books with you.
• Try to put some money aside for bus/train/taxi fares.
• Always keep an extra set of house and car keys on you in case you need to leave suddenly.

What is Domestic Abuse?

The following are examples but this is not an exclusive list.

The person;

• Stops the victim from spending time with friends or family members.
• Blames the victim for all the arguments or problems in a relationship.
• Checks all the victims’ texts and e-mails.
• Controls all the money.
• Threatens to out the person at work.
• Had sex with the person without your permission or refused to have safe sex when the person has asked them to.
• Constantly phones, texts and e-mails when asked not to.